But, What's It All About?
This text, that you are about to read, is about a young man, who one day suddenly finds himself situated in Chaos, that is,
the World. Of course, he already has been there for a long time, he just hasn't paid it any attention. And now Chaos knocks
at his door fiercely and talks to him in a thousands of different tongues simultaneously. Of course, the hero of our text,
is unable to make any sense out of IT, but he wants to know, he insists, he demands, to understand the surroundings into
which he has been thrown. So what he does, is that he buys himself a television set, not any of those old little black and white
televisions, oh no, he buys the latest you can get, state of the art, wide screen, digital, sound surround, stereo impact.
And then he sits down in his apartment, ten stories above ground level, and he watch the images that comes
to him, and he allows the images to fill him up, perfectly still he sits there, constantly switching
channels, and the images that he see is wondrous, mysterious, miraculous, oraculous, he sees volcanoes
erupting, ice glaciers dissolving, stars being born, universes exploding and imploding, he sees the seven
heavens and the gate of hell, demons and angels and the face of god, he sees brother killing brother
killing father killing daughter killing husband killing wife, he sees infidelity and high fidelity and
lo fidelity and he sees sons fucking their mothers in the asses, he sees great sins unraveled and great
deeds done, he sees people, laughing, crying, dancing, smiling, swimming, diving, jumping, sleeping,
snorting, sneering and dippety dapp. He understands it all, and he is fascinated.
And on the 10.th day of the 10.th month in the 10.th year he raises himself up from the stool, and he walks
down the stairs and he tell all the people that he meets about his visions, his televisions, but, of
course they dont listen, they have seen the same shows, so what he does, is that he finds a woman, and
he is making whoppy with her, and then nine months later he becomes the father of a son, and the holy
ghost yawns, and then he puts his son in front of the television set, by now it has become somewhat
old-fashioned, but so what, it still functions, and he tells his one and only begotten son, that every
tv-channel, every program, every commercial, each and every single frame is Chaos captured in its
unfolding, and if you can grasp that, you can grasp it all, yackety Jack, for wasn't it the great philosopher
of ancient Greece, Aristoteles, that said that human actions is taught through imitating the actions of
other humans, so this child, the son, the new hero of our play, was to become a mysterious, wondrous,
miraculous, oraculous. He knew it all, the life expectancy of a one-eyed koala bear, the time it takes
for a five legged zebra to cross the great river of Nile, across, all the entire blasphemic vocabulary of
a protestantic jew living in a youth hostel in lower Manhattan, the setting of the sun according to
reverend Mr. DeyLa Young, the total sum of 4.4.9.8, undivided, the colors of the rainbow, of the forest,
of the dearest ones that you love, that is to say, if you have the ability to love, and to be loved, the greatest gift of all.
All this and more, he knew, and he was terrified, terrifically, far beyond human belief, so what he did,
was that he entered the book of the Worlds, and in there, he left one single sentence, “What's the point?”
And then his long dead dad popped up at the tv-screen, raising both of his arms, raising both of his middle
fingers, racing them together, up in front of his sons raging eyes, and then pointing them at the points at
the television screen and then he says to his son:
-The colors, my good son, the vivid colors is the
point, the flashing images, the sound surround, stereo
impact, and if you look really close at the screen you
will see that there is not one single point, but
thousands of thousands different points, and thats the
point, because they amount to the point of the
visions, the televisions, the life like, the greater
than life like, the imitation of life, remember old
Aristoteles, everything has a beginning, a middle and
an end, but its a stream, a stream of the
unconcuisness, 24 hours a day, every day, every single
heart beat, every single heart beat, every single
heart beat, every single heart beat.
–But what's it all about? says the son.
-Its about the spectacular, the fantastic, the
bombastic, its about the tragedies and the comedies,
all the hilarities, its about Chaos being captured in
its unfolding, but you must laugh about it, do you
remember the old laughing gnome, its about him, and
its about Plato, ideas manifested, and its about naked
women walking around doing nothing, its fantastic, and
you can just sit there doing nothing, well you could
always masturbate, or something, but you dont have to,
you get it, bastard son of bastard me, its about
choice, about free will, the will of power, the power
of love, about freeing this killer whale called Willy,
you get it?
It’s a comedy and it’s a tragedy. And its spectacular,
and it’s fantastic, and it’s bombastic. Everything is
included, nothing is excluded, its about the death of
God, Nietzsche, you know about him, a crazy insane
bastard, like you, my bastard son of bastard me, and
its about this really intelligent dolphin that helps
people, rescues people, and its about this little boy
who has no mother and no father, and he is really
tiny, so we cry a little bit, in the rain, and its
about flowers that grow, you can watch it in fast
motion, and its about some people getting laid, and
others not, and that the persons that dont get laid go
out on the street and then they kill somebody
innocent, and its about these people at an hospital
that gives surgery to people that has been shot, and
sometimes, my good son, in fact, quite often, they
perform miracles, and its fantastic, and we become
happy, because they show us that it is hope, Chicago
hope, and its about elephants in labour pains, and
about how they walk away to this graveyard, but nobody
knows where it is, its a mystery, a puzzle that has to
be solved, and to do that there are these really great
detectives, some of them are really sarcastic, and
others very eccentric, and they solve all these
mysterious puzzles, and that is what its all about,
about solving the puzzles, putting pieces together,
adding and subtracting, piece by piece, and its about
peaches on sale, and about hanging out on the beach,
about creating peace, and about being pleased, my
bastard son of bastard me, come on, please.
-But, what's it all about?
Its a comedy and its a tragedy, its Chaos captured in
its unfolding, everything is included, nothing is
excluded, its Sigmund Freud, you know him, the guy
with the beard, its about interpreting the
unconsciousness, it's about dreams, Mr. Ed, the talking
horse, the three stooges, the three stages, the anal,
the oral and the third, its Snow White and the seven
dwarfs, and its Karl Marx and the Marx brothers.
Its a comedy and its a tragedy, and its extremely
dramatic, people jump out from cliffs and cars and
bridges, and buildings that are collapsing because
they got hit by some airplanes that got hijacked by
some crazy arabs, and its music, sweet music, the
Rolling Stones, Tchaikovsky, Britney Spears, really
lovely girl, very sexy, and then its the king, Elvis,
all the great ones, and all the little ones too,
no-one is excluded, everybody is included, for fifteen
minutes, that counts for you also my son, you are
going to become famous, and then, NEWSFLASH, the
latest news, every hour of every day of every second,
remember the heartbeat, ka dong ka dong ka dong, its
so real, so unreal, the night of the living dead, and
so surreal, its about kings and queens, and about what
they do, all their travels to exotic places, like
Oslo, or Barcelona or Cape Town, or where-ever, you
never know where they will show up next, it could be
right here, and its about how they get divorced and
about how they perish in car crashes in Paris, and
they become icons and will live forever, its about
death not being the end, you can fly, like Peter Pan,
seeing is believing, the truth is out there, the
x-files, a new episode will follow, we are being
amused, with the latest, updates, comments, behind the
scenes, interviews, scandals, its about murderes on
the loose, my son, murderers, and its about Rudolph
Murdoch, he died, its about what comes up must come
down, look at the stock market, my bastard son of
bastard me, its gonna crack, smack, whickety, zikk
zakk KA BOOM, KA BOOM, its all gonna explode, Lucy in
the sky with diamonds, but we are safe, we have the
best seats in the whole house, we are upfront where
everything is happening, when its happening, its a
happening, a big happening, it happens every year,
like the seasons, they do sequels, we can watch it all
fall down, and we can watch when they build it up
again, its fantastic, its ironic, its beyond words,
its about visions, Jesus out in the desert, about
being lost, paradise lost, its Milton, and its Dante,
and it’s Donald the Duck, quack, quack, quack.
-But, what is it all about?
-It’s about life in the suburbs, about being bored
utterly insane, that all is vain, it’s about being
situated behind locked doors, and about wether or not
there is life on mars, they are sending people out
there, you know, and its about tomorrows weather, come
sunshine, come rain, come snow, come hail, they can
predict that, its about the young and the reckless,
the bold and the beautiful, beauty and the beast, and
it is glamour, watch and learn, watch and yearn. And it’s
about people living out in the forest, but the forest
is disappearing, but they can move to the city, they
are building new towers now, it’s a big hole in the
sky, it’s about the fall of the Berlin wall, the
opening of borders, it’s about unification, the global
village, Marshall McLuhan, the medium is the message,
it’s all there, in the open, everything is open, it
never closes in upon us, its’ about always being
situated in the center, in the lead car, it never
closes in upon us, but, you must float, my bastard son
of bastard me, float, and it’s about people committing
suicides, and its about these two little squirrels
that are fooling this dog at Christmas day, it happens
every year, it’s about rituals, it’s about being, sein
und zeit, Jerry Seinfeld, Martin Heidegger, the world
worlds, war of the roses, it’s about a homicide and a
genocide, and the 1.st world war, the second, and a
third one coming up, real soon, and it’s gonna be a big
one, big explosions, big disasters, big performances,
big tears and a big bad wolf, and the three little
piggies, and everybody can watch, no discrimination,
we are all equal in the eyes of the beholder, that is
what it’s all about, we are being unified, do you get
it, my bastard son of bastard me? Do you get it? We
are being unified.
-But, what's it all about?
It’s Wagner, helicopters, Vietnam, Bruce Lee, the year
of the Dragon, it’s about moving around, without the
movement, and it’s about love, true love and romance,
true romance, candles burning in the heat of the
night, people meeting people, the old story about a
boy who meets a girl, but then there is trouble ahead,
but love is victorious despite everything, and then the
boy puts his thing inside the girls thing, it’s about
connections, about being connected, in the center, the
life source, they show it really close-up, and then
the girl start screaming because she likes it so much,
and she wants more, it’s about always wanting more, so
then the boy really give it to her, really hard and
everything, and just before it reaches the climax,
she starts sucking his firewire, and then the boy come
all over her face, and she is just one big smile, and
everything is being digitalized, broken up into bites
and bytes, all connections are possible, white
innocent looking Caucasian girls together with big
black strong men, tall proud South-Americans together
with shy little Chinese people, small sweet Japanese
girls together with huge Egyptian dogs, not to mention
what they do with the horses, oh man, they are
breeding bastards, it’s all about bastards, geeks and
freaks and tv-hosts, and everybody is just laying in
this huge pile moaning and screaming and putting their
thing inside where-ever, there are no limits, and they
are drinking urine, and eating each-others shit, it’s
a big orgy porgy going on, and everybody is so turned
on, and so excited, it’s about the big bang, colors
exploding, what you see is what you get, and the
pictures are crystal clear, do you get it? It’s about
fucking death. It’s about fucking God.
It’s a comedy and it’s a tragedy, it’s Chaos captured in
it’s unfolding, nothing is excluded, everything is
included, even batteries, and you can watch it frame
by frame, slow-motion, fast-motion, fast-rewind,
fast-forward, faster pussycat, faster, big dicks and
big vaginas and big assholes, everything is being
penetrated, no more black holes, my son, that’s what
it’s all about, no more black holes. Do you get it, my
bastard son of bastard me, do you get it?
And it’s about being cool, as cool as a cool, kitty
kitty, cat cat, can, can be, come on, bastard son of
bastard me, come on, you´re so slow, so slow, who the
hell was your mother, really, who was she, come on,
you tell me, what's it all about, what's it all about,
it’s about that fucking mother of yours, leaving us for
the dogs, come on, bastard son of bastard me, catch me
if you can, catcher in the rye, J. D. Salinger, you´ve
gotta catch them all, pikachu, it’s all about spoiled
little brats, like you, you are all spoiled little
brats, what's it all about, what's it all about, it’s
about letting all the demons out, to set loose the
hounds of hell, it’s about saying fuck you,
fuck you, fuck you, fuck you, fuck you, fuck you, fuck you, fuck you, fuck you, fuck you, fuck you, fuck you, fuck you, fuck you, fuck you, fuck you, fuck you, fuck you, fuck you, fuck you, fuck you, fuck you, fuck you, fuck you, fuck you, fuck you, fuck you, fuck you, fuck you, fuck you, fuck you, fuck you, fuck you, fuck you, fuck you, fuck you, fuck you, fuck you, fuck you, fuck you, fuck you, fuck you, fuck you, fuck you, fuck you, fuck you, fuck you, fuck you, fuck you, fuck you, fuck you, fuck you, fuck you, fuck you, fuck you, fuck you, fuck you, fuck you, fuck you and fuck you too, my bastard son of bastard me, fuck you the whole fucking fucked up world, and fuck me too, pretty please with sugar on top,
it’s about... it’s about... it’s about...
i dont know what the fuck it’s all about, I just want to be loved and to
love, the greatest gift of all. Do you get it my
bastard son of bastard me? Do you get it?
-I think so daddy. Can we watch the cartoons now?
-Sure we can, bastard son of bastard me, i think you
finally got it, great, let’s watch some cartoons.
En tekst av: Ole Mads Vevle